Still waiting at 42 weeks & 3 days

November 6, 2009 § Leave a comment

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

I’m starting to feel drained and my emotions are starting to take over no matter how much I try to be strong and feel that I should be a person that holds more faith in the good things that are surely to come.

Pierre and I were at the prenatal clinic yesterday at 07:30. I had an an appointment and as I walked in was told to immediately drop off a urine sample. No protein was found in my sample which is a very good thing. I was then attached to a CTG machine to monitor the baby’s heartbeat and movements – all checked out normal.

Next I had an ultrasound and saw my precious baby boy’s face again. He was sleeping with his little hand under his face. The midwife checked my amniotic fluid levels and it turned up normal as well; there’s plenty for him to float around in.

Later I saw the same doctor as the day before, Dr. A. Fernblom, and was told that everything looked good and that she was happy that my blood pressure had now gone down from 95 to 85 or 83 (I don’t remember which). She also said that as long as I was feeling good and not experiencing any had headaches, dizziness or flashes of light in my eyes that I could afford to hold off and allow the baby to come out on his own.

I’m so stressed. Our families are stressed. Pierre and I feel a bit helpless right now knowing that we’re not professionals and that we should trust the doctors while at the same time also knowing that we’ve both grown up in countries (France and America among them) where doctors don’t wait for a pregnant lady to reach 43 weeks before inducing labor.

We’re so close to having our baby boy now and yet every second that ticks by seems like an eternity. I want what’s best for my baby, I want to know that he is safe at all times. This little boy has no voice of his own yet and that’s what scares me the most. I am his voice. Pierre is his voice. I just hope that we are doing him justice.

I know that shedding tears don’t help matters and that I’m probably causing more harm than good (by stressing the baby out with my emotions) but these past two days…these past two days have been scary. I’ve been trying to keep my mind occupied by baking, yes baking. I baked blueberry as well as raspberry muffins this morning. Now I’m looking for a recipe that calls for oats.

Today’s pictures are of the baby’s room and of Pierre trying to keep busy this past Sunday afternoon. Although the baby’s walls look white they’re actually more of a cream like color and I’m thinking about painting some large animals where his crib is (even though his crib will be in our room for the first few months or so). We love you Theo!



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