June 2, 2018 § Leave a comment
This post was written in May of 2014, the same period that I stopped updating my blog. I’ve decided to post it now:
Sometimes life throws us a curve ball and we get that split second chance to watch it slide by us, just out of our grasp. When that happens to me, it’s almost like it happens in slow motion. Slow enough to watch, but not slow enough to change. That’s when silver linings come in. That’s when you’ve got to talk yourself into believing whatever it is that you know is going to make you come out stronger than before.
When you have children, these type of situations can become more complicated. You’ve got to keep things together. You’ve got to stand strong. You’ve got to remain calm and provide the support that you’ve always provided. Perhaps even more so.
So it’s always a pleasure to realize, in the midst of chaos, that you’ve got the best company that you could ask for.
I recently found out that my daughter is a mimic. She watches our facial features as we sit and eat around the dinner table and she mimics, with grand boldness, our exact movements. It’s a mixture of eye rolling, eyes darting from side to side and weird smiles but it’s enough to make this mama realize that everything is going to be alright. We are always going to be alright. Our love is strong and alive, we’re all strong and alive and that’s what matters the most. To be alive, to be strong and to be loved and to give love. That’s the kind of beauty that no curve ball can defeat.
March 21, 2018 § 1 Comment
Oh yeah, and time goes by. No matter what. It’s something that the “older ones” forgot to mention to us “younger ones” enough so that we’d get it, so that we’d understand. Time always goes by so it’s what we do with it that makes the difference in life right?
It’s alright though, this time business- and I’m so thankful to be able to share it with so my special people. The characters are endless, as are the lessons learned. In any case I’ve decided to continue with this blog but I’m a little troubled as to whether or not it should be shared or just for myself. Writing in a public space can be a tricky thing. People get offended or react to your writing in a way that you might not have expected. In the end the writing is for me anyway, perhaps that’s my answer right there.
One other thing that bothers me is the posting of my children’s photos online. Will they be bothered by that later? Will it embarrass them? I don’t want to partake in any of it…So simple turns sticky and yet here I am posting after a few years of silence. All of a sudden I realise that perhaps I shouldn’t have added my name in the title of my blog. Or maybe I shouldn’t have signed my name at the end of every post…Then of course another part of me says- “Who cares?” as in who (in the world) really cares? And then I realise that I’m not Beyonce, or Hillary. Yet. Yet, I do have my own little universe you know. Even if it is tiny…and perhaps that’s enough to make my feelings and doubts legitimate. Or at least I feel better thinking that way.
Love and light,
April 17, 2014 § 2 Comments
When I picked up my boy from school this past Monday he very happily and excitedly reached into his pocket and presented me with a hair tie. It was tiny and pink and so unexpected that I asked him where it came from. He told me that it was meant to be given to his sister.
“But who gave it to you?”
“It’s for Baby Girl.”
“Yes, but who GAVE it to you?”
“I found it on the ground.” – I told him that I’d put it in my pocket and wash it when we got home. Then, after it was nicely washed, I’d give it to her.
I immediately put a load of laundry into the washing machine when we got home. I was in the middle of loading the washer when he asked if I had remembered to wash the hair tie. I told him that I’d put it into the machine and I did. “She’ll be happy to have that hair tie when she’s older right mama?” (“Older” as in when she has “more hair”)
By the time the load of laundry was done his Papa had returned home again and had hung up the laundry, including the hair tie. Then we all had dinner.
-He found it on the ground…
It didn’t hit me until after dinner that he had seen that hair tie on the ground at school and that in that moment, he had thought about his baby sister. He had been reminded of her and he had thought ahead to when she’d actually have enough hair to hold that hair tie in place.
How utterly thoughtful of him.
Maybe being a mother has made me a softy but I can’t help it and, truthfully, I’d rather see the world like this. It’s a much more beautiful place now.
Love and light,
March 30, 2014 § Leave a comment
I said prayers over my children and tucked them into bed as usual this evening. And, as usual, I also snuggled down next to my boy for a few minutes before telling him that I would come back and check on both him and his sister later. Our routine was the same except for the fact that I stayed longer than planned. I don’t recall how our conversation began but we started talking about the dark. Well, I suppose that I should say, “THE dark” because for any child “the dark” is as real and tangible as a slice of bread, or a chair, or any other normal everyday object.
So he told me how he was scared of the dark and how it would creep into his room at night. I told him not to fear, that he was protected by God and that he shouldn’t be scared. He then asked me if God was the dark. No, God is not the dark. God is a good feeling, a feeling that makes you feel safe and protected. He’s all things good, he’s not that scared feeling that you get when you are in the dark.
Earlier on, right after saying prayers we had been talking about his favorite stuffed animal. He had just found it earlier this evening, stuffed into one of his sister’s toy suitcases after not having seen it for over a week. He told me that Doudou (his doll’s toy) had missed him and that he had thought about him while he was locked away in the suitcase. I asked him how he knew that and he said that it was because he had dreamt it. I then asked him if he had dreams. He explained that he had dreamt it in his head, during the day. Those, I explained, were day dreams.
We talked some more and he explained how he would think (and he used this word with great purpose) about monsters in his room when it was dark. I told him that he should tell himself that there is no such thing as monsters and that he should yell out to whatever was making him scared. Yell out that he (the monster) doesn’t exist. Say, “There is no such thing as a monster!” and that the only people in the room are you, your sister, God and perhaps Chima Laval (a Lego character that he likes). He laughed and had a practice run of yelling it out a few times.
We continued to talk and he told me, “You know mama, I think about God all of the time.” He also said that when he is in his room he thinks of monsters but that when he’s in my room, he thinks of God. “Yes mama, God is in your room.” I tried to tell him that God is always with him, in every room of the house. I tried to explain that he has these thoughts of monsters simply because he has a fabulous imagination and that I too, used to be scared of the dark.
Right towards the end of our conversation, after he asked to sleep in my bed, I told him that it wasn’t nice for his baby sister if he were to leave her all alone in his room…”I know…” (I couldn’t help but to smile to myself in the dark. He’s such a sweet big brother) In the end he ended up going to sleep in my bed. I tucked him in and he was so very happy. I kissed him, smiled to myself and walked out to the living room to tell my husband what had happened. As I was recounting the story we both heard our boy say, “There is NO SUCH THING as a MONSTER!!!”. He yelled that out another two times, sneezed two times and then fell asleep.
Love and light,
March 20, 2014 § Leave a comment
My baby girl helped me make a cake today from start to finish. She cracked eggs, poured sugar, flour and oil, mixed in baking powder and vanilla essence and very carefully added chocolate chips as her final touch. I watched her and couldn’t help but be fully aware of how much she’s growing and changing. Her first cake. Ever.
Later on this evening, as I was putting my children to bed, she pulled my face close to hers and gave me a little “face-hug”. Then from out of the blue her little hand started to stroke my face and I was in awe at the fact that I had only given birth to this beautiful little human just a little over two years ago. And here she was, stroking MY face?
Children are a lot of work but the way that they reward you with gifts like the ones above are indeed priceless. How can you put a price on these kind of organic experiences? Never mind, we’re not meant to calculate stuff like that, we’re just meant to be present and enjoy.
Love and light,
December 5, 2013 § Leave a comment
I always knew that he was a lover and not a fighter but this last conversation that we had while driving in the car this evening made me grin.
Out of the blue he told Pierre and I that his little friend Manon didn’t want to be his amoureuse (girlfriend). In fact, she wanted to be Nathan’s amoureuse…and as he reflected on this his mouth twisted up and went to the side. He then said that he didn’t like this fact. On top of that, his other friend Katrine didn’t want to be his amoureuse either. Instead, she wanted to be Karl’s amoureuse. And to top it all off, his other friend Nancy didn’t want to be his amoureuse either, she TOO wanted to be Nathan’s amoureuse.
He then went on to say that if things went on like this (with all the girls flocking to Nathan) that there would be no girls left for the other boys. (Nice reflection my boy!)
But there’s a silver lining. Nathan told all of the girls to “attack” Théo and they didn’t. He then asked them to “attack” him again and still, they didn’t move. In the end their teacher ended up scolding Nathan by putting him in the corner.
“So, in the end you won Théo!”
“Yes, it was MY day that day!” and he said that with the biggest grin on his face.
My boy, I’m so sure that you will have many days that are meant for you and only you. I love you!
Love and light,
November 25, 2013 § Leave a comment
My daughter had her second birthday and we threw her her first birthday party with friends. Because I know that she loves cats so much I decided to go with the cat theme. About five days before the big day I decided that I should probably start doing a bit of research, so I went online to look for some DIY projects that I could incorporate into her party. It didn’t take long before I hit a site (Willowday.com)that offered free printables and which I used as birthday favors, another for balloon decorating ideas (parents.com) as well as food inspiration.
I am really happy with how everything turned out and best of all, I had a great time diving into it and getting creative at home – all alone at about 01:00 in the morning… Yeah, I had to find the time to do the work when I could be alone…
Having said that and done the early morning preparations, I just have to say that I felt so proud watching my girl run around with her friends, give people smiles and hugs, blow out her candles and open her gifts. She just makes my heart swell up with happiness. I simply find it amazing to finally be able to understand what my mother used to tell me all those years ago, when I was a child. “Do you know how much I love you?” No mom. I didn’t know but now, now that I have children of my own, now I do. Now I know that you would have done anything to protect me. Now I know that my existence was attached to your very soul. That one could not exist without the other.
My baby girl. Leaning on the kid sized table, looking so big and so very proud as she blew out her candles. Such character. Such light. These are the moments that make life so much more than what I expected it to be. And after watching all of the tragedy coming out of the horrific natural disaster that recently hit parts of Asia, I can only say, there are so very few things in life that really have meaning and worth, but they are all natural and free.
Love and light,